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Alpha & Oméga
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Citation :
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15/01/2006, 18h03
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[ROFL] Everything is Chuck Norris !
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Invité
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15/01/2006, 18h26
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Bagnard
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Tu déchire kilrogg
La barre sur les coups d'pied circulaire. 
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15/01/2006, 18h43
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Invité
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Message supprimé par son auteur.
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15/01/2006, 18h57
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Bagnard
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Heu nan rien d'moqueur faut pas croire ce que les gens racontent à propos des nouveaux comptes. :\
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15/01/2006, 19h12
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Oracle
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j ai pas compris celle de carmen san diego, c est quoi?
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15/01/2006, 19h46
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Invité
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Message supprimé par son auteur.
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15/01/2006, 19h54
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Alpha & Oméga
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Le lien m'a bien fait rire, je l'ai trouver bien roxxant, quoiqu'en disent les rabat joie.
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15/01/2006, 21h13
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Bagnard
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Citation :
Les jouets Chuck Norris le montrent toujours avec une arme |
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15/01/2006, 21h44
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Alpha & Oméga
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If you rearrange the letters in Vin Diesel it reveals his credo: "I End Lives."
Vin Diesel once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Vin Diesel allows to live. When Vin Diesel goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket. There is no "I" in team. There are two "I"s in Vin Diesel. **** you, team. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Vin Diesel could use to kill you, including the room itself. Vin Diesel has always been able to find Waldo, except for one time. He found himself stumped on the last page of Where's Waldo Now?, not being able to find the Waldo without a shoe. He threw the book down and screamed, "This is BULLSHIT!" They're all wearing shoes." He then proceeded to eat the book and exclaim, "IF I CAN'T FIND WALDO, THEN NO ONE CAN!" The book he ate belonged to a child that he had borrowed it from. The child began to cry and Vin ate him for good measure. Vin Diesel once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear. When Vin Diesel was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Vin Diesel!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with. Vin Diesel is the reason why Waldo is hiding. Vin Diesel is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis. When Vin Diesel jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Vin instead. Vin Diesel has two speeds: walk and kill. Vin Diesel played Russian Roulete with a fully loaded gun and won. Vin Diesel coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence. Vin Diesel can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night. If you were to lock Vin Diesel in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this Vin replied "Because Grammy's are for queers." then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response. Vin Diesel can win a game of Monopoly without owning any property. Vin Diesel was the hunter who shot Bambi's Mother. He then wore her carcass like it was a coat while he made his rounds at the local children's hospital. Vin Diesel is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's shit. On his birthday, Vin Diesel randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun. It takes 14 puppeteers to make Vin Diesel smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage. It takes Vin Diesel 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes. Vin Diesel can divide by zero. In fine print at on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Vin Diesel, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him. You are what you eat. That is why Vin Diesel's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children. Vin Diesel's hair is too afraid of him to grow. Magnetic compasses do not point toward true North - they point in the direction of Vin Diesel. He just likes to sit on a lawn chair and shout, "Jackets are for pussies!" at the Acrtic researchers. Vin Diesel doesn't believe in rubber condoms. Instead, he sticks his penis in a girl, and uses that girl as a condom while f-ing another. |
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15/01/2006, 21h58
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Alpha & Oméga
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Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.
Mr. T doesn't pity anyone who likes the Black Eyed Peas. He just kills them Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood. Mr. T and Chuck Norris once encountered each other on a lonesome British path. Before the inevitable battle could begin, the earth shit itself and created Scotland. Mr. T pities fools because even fools deserves their daily dose of vitamin T. Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. the result was the 80's. 23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence. On the A-team, Face , Haniabal, and Murdoch were all masters of disguise. Mr T didn't have to wear a disguise. The bad guys didn't recognize him out of fear. Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity. Mr. T. does not break wind. He destroys it. Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through doors. Mr. T once shook hands with Chuck Norris, or so it appeared, in actuality, their combined power caused an earthquake, which gave their hands a look of shaking to any onlookers, who were probably too scared to accurately testify anyway. Yoda had two sons. To one he taught pity, to the other he gave the gift of the beard. There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk. Mr. T's pity for fools is used by mathematicians as a demonstration of the concept of infinity. All of the gold in Fort Knox is fake. The U.S.'s actual treasury is chains worn by Mr. T around his neck. Mr. T once bit off more than he could chew. He ate it anyway. Despite popular belief, Mr. T in fact ended the civil rights movement by getting on a bus....all caucasian people moved to the back. Mr. T's edition of the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the show's history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words "Right Behind You" written on it. One day when Mr. T was just a little T doing push-ups on the schoolyard, he heard some kids singing "I'm a little tea-pot." Thinking those kids were tarnishing his reputation by associating T and pot, mini Mr. T proceeded to rip off the kids' handles and dislocate their spouts before tipping them over and knocking them out. Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday. Behind every great man, there is a great woman. Behind that woman is Mr. T. Mr. T once pitied the sun. An ice age followed. The last time Mr. T went to McDonald's, Ronald McDonald greeted him. What occured next proved to be the most violent beating of a clown ever recorded in human history. Mr. T skis uphill. Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him. Mr. T was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain. It took five women 2 years to give birth to Mr. T. Mr. T once rocked the Casbah. Which explains why there is no longer a Casbah. Despite popular belief, if there is a fool in the woods, and nobody is around to hear his jibba jabba, Mr. T is still able to pity him. |
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15/01/2006, 21h58
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Bagnard
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In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
Ca m'a fait rire^^ |
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15/01/2006, 22h32
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Alpha & Oméga
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Citation :
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15/01/2006, 22h40
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Invité
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Message supprimé par son auteur.
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15/01/2006, 22h52
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Alpha & Oméga
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hu c'est assez énormes certaines me font mal aux zygomatiques
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15/01/2006, 23h18
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[WF]
Alpha & Oméga
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Citation :
 Be water my friend. |
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15/01/2006, 23h25
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Alpha & Oméga
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Citation :
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16/01/2006, 08h13
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Alpha & Oméga
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Pour les facts sur les 3 gros bourrins que sont Chuck, Vin et Mr T c'est ici : http://www.4q.cc/
Y en a un sacré paquet et de quoi bien se marrer Je viens de tomber sur celui-ci en choisissant un random fact : "Phobias are afraid of Chuck Norris." trop mdr Citation :
Sinon pour Chuck Norris et les armes : Dans "Lone Wolf McQuade", il utilise colt magnum 44, fusil à lunette, uzi, lance roquette, grenades. Idem dans "Invasion USA" (rien que sur l'affiche il est en mode un dual uzi), ce sont ses 2 films les plus bourrins et jouissifs à souhait 
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16/01/2006, 08h36
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Bagnard
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In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
xxl. |
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16/01/2006, 09h40
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Alpha & Oméga
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Ca me fait penser à une phrase que m'avais sorti un ami américain à propos de Chuck: "I'm not agree, Chuck Norris isn't an actor, Chuck Norris is THE actor" en se foutant bien de lui
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16/01/2006, 10h04
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Alpha & Oméga
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Ma préféré
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17/01/2006, 00h20
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[Fsk]
Alpha & Oméga
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Sympa la citation du circulaire
Citation :
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17/01/2006, 09h47
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Légende
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C'est pas drole.
a+ |
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17/01/2006, 10h00
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Alpha & Oméga
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Je déteste Chuck Norris. Viscéralement. Genre je le croise je change de trottoir.
Mais j'avoue que toutes ces petites phrases m'ont fait mourir de rire pour certaines, et notamment celle-ci : Citation :
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17/01/2006, 10h22
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Alpha & Oméga
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chuck norris himself les a lu, il sait pas quoi en penser mais ca l'empeche pas de se faire mousser ave cun ptit coup d'auto promo
http://www.chucknorris.com/html/events.aspx Citation :
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19/01/2006, 06h48
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